The Security Guard that Isn't...

This is my "Security Guard"

All of the alphabet networks are covering the Colorado church shooting story with this oddly worded description of the "security guard" that was at the church that day.

The gunman was killed by a member of the church's armed security staff before police arrived, Myers said. The gunman's name was not released. Officers found several smoke-generating devices on the church campus; their intended purpose wasn't clear.

Murray was shot dead by a female security guard after he opened fire on worshippers at the massive New Life evangelical church near Colorado Springs as thousands of people gathered for Sunday service.

A gunman attacked worshippers at a Colorado Springs, Colorado, megachurch Sunday afternoon, killing one person and wounding four others before being killed by a security staff member, the city's police chief said.

The first attack took place at Youth With a Mission, a training center for missionaries in the Denver suburb of Arvada; the other occurred at the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, where Murray was shot to death by a security guard. The missionary training center maintains an office at the 10,000-member church.

This to me, implies that there was someone there with a uniform, being paid to protect the church, and who is certified to do so by a state agency.

But, that is not the whole story, and the media are a bunch of asshats for not including this part of the story; because it is not even the actual story.

Senior Pastor Brady Boyd of New Life Church said a member of the church who volunteers as a security guard shot and killed the gunman. Boyd did not identify the guard but called her "a real hero."

"When the shots were fired, she rushed toward the scene and encountered the attacker there in a hallway. He never got more than 50 feet inside our building," he said. "There could have been a great loss of life yesterday, and she probably saved over 100 lives."

Bet the "Brady Bunch" hates the shit out of this.... Wouldn't want to have citizens defending themselves, because we can just wait on the police to come and save us.

While the crazy gunman makes his way through every building and room, shooting everyone he finds.

Just so the Brady Bunch knows, the Jester's Gun is dangerous.... When you are out to do him harm....

CHOP